So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
it's great music for shaving your balls
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
