If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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