I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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