Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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