Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize