I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Porn is love you can see.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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