That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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