my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
