So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
