moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
