dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
