fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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