The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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