i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
