he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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