the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
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