you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
