dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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