Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
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I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
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Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?