Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance

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  (816): In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance http://tfl.nu/nm0w
  Replies (5) Good night (1523) Bad night (623)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.

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  (423): I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4. http://tfl.nu/p8en
  Replies (32) Good night (744) Bad night (5921)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.

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  (647): if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are. http://tfl.nu/2i80
  Replies (6) Good night (5127) Bad night (664)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.

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  (330): Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around. http://tfl.nu/7cdc
  Replies (16) Good night (5627) Bad night (1086)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card

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  (978): almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card http://tfl.nu/wy4z
  Replies (19) Good night (5881) Bad night (1091)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.

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  (724): He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina. http://tfl.nu/qqw5
  Replies (7) Good night (1097) Bad night (700)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.

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  (814): The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain. http://tfl.nu/8v87
  Replies (1) Good night (1124) Bad night (475)
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  (+92): View more from

  Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?

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  (+92): Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from? http://tfl.nu/pk33
  Replies (1) Good night (392) Bad night (294)
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  (310): View more from California

  I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...

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  (310): I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now... http://tfl.nu/9bsa
  Replies (2) Good night (743) Bad night (393)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small

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  (512): He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small http://tfl.nu/qooh
  Replies (4) Good night (985) Bad night (329)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin

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  (914): I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin http://tfl.nu/vobt
  Replies (2) Good night (635) Bad night (362)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Oh my god I found my bf's erotica

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.

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  (270): Oh my god I found my bf's erotica (270): OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA. (270): OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA. http://tfl.nu/oils
  Replies (3) Good night (1566) Bad night (247)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together

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  (716): I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together http://tfl.nu/7tey
  Replies (1) Good night (237) Bad night (388)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car

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  (703): Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car http://tfl.nu/e3ee
  Replies (0) Good night (389) Bad night (199)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.

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  (+44): The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others. http://tfl.nu/zz46
  Replies (1) Good night (342) Bad night (128)

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