Texts From Last Night

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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.

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  (267): i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said. http://tfl.nu/hb96
  Replies (58) Good night (6942) Bad night (764)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??

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  (361): Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture?? http://tfl.nu/iimu
  Replies (11) Good night (5662) Bad night (775)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me

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  (201): we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me http://tfl.nu/mhrn
  Replies (34) Good night (668) Bad night (4955)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.

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  (970): She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat. http://tfl.nu/yazk
  Replies (17) Good night (2383) Bad night (4927)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.

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  (336): I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math. http://tfl.nu/wo9g
  Replies (11) Good night (2547) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday

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  (419): I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday http://tfl.nu/dtfw
  Replies (8) Good night (3674) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.

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  (253): I just did a sobriety test in a tutu. http://tfl.nu/m861
  Replies (5) Good night (3336) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.

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  (626): I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night. http://tfl.nu/5hoo
  Replies (7) Good night (2338) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road

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  (801): After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road http://tfl.nu/nkf2
  Replies (10) Good night (623) Bad night (1160)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.

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  (317): I need to beat up a magician now. BRB. http://tfl.nu/9fa0
  Replies (12) Good night (1201) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car

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  (203): You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car http://tfl.nu/3edo
  Replies (2) Good night (1093) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.

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  (315): So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt. http://tfl.nu/iloo
  Replies (1) Good night (542) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.

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  (954): A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things. http://tfl.nu/ye2y
  Replies (2) Good night (579) Bad night (231)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life

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  (219): I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life http://tfl.nu/kbbl
  Replies (4) Good night (412) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was

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  (630): He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was http://tfl.nu/qjtz
  Replies (4) Good night (222) Bad night (689)

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