remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
