In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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