I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize