Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize