That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
