I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize