My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize