sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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