He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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