I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
