I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
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I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
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I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I have so many feelings about this burrito
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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