I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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