M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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