is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
