So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I have tasted many bathrooms
How drunk are you?
Completed.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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