is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
