I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
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Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
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You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize