Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
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I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle