Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize