Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
