It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Drunk is a universal language darling
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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