Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
are you so shy because you have an std?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
