I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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