He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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