just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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