Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
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i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
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sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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