hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
another moral hangover. fuck.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
