do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
