Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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