Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
