DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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