i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
