Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
