She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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