Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight