dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
